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How to Become the Main Character in Your Own Life.

You are the protagonist in your own life. You get to decide how you react to circumstances and events. Who you spend time with. What books you read and films you watch. You’re the main character of your life.
backlit beach clouds dark How to Become the Main Character in Your Own Life.
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You are the main character of your own life. So let’s start being one!

The protagonist is the lead character in a story, play, or film. They drive the plot forward and have dramatic conflicts that test their ideals and values.

The other characters in the story support them or challenge in your own life means becoming more than an observer of your own existence but someone who makes choices about how you react to things, build relationships with others, think about things and live your values on a daily basis.

These five steps can help you do just that..

Decide what kind of person you want to be.

The first steps is to decide what kind of person you want to be.

Try to come up with at least three things that you want to be true about you. For example, do you want to be a kind person, or be a more honest person. Maybe strive to be the best at what you do. Now that you know what kind of person you want to be. It’s going to be easier to see where you might be passive or inactive in your own life.

Passive people are observers of their own lives. They don’t take responsibility for their own experiences. Instead of actively shaping their lives, they wait for things to happen to them. That used to be me.


What is the most important thing for you right now. A choice you have to make? A relationship that is important to you? A goal you have been striving for?

Try to name it clearly. It might be a relationship you want to build, a change you need to make in your life or a decision you need to make. It can be anything you want it to be. Once you have named what the most important thing is for you right now, try to see if there are any patterns in your life that prevent you from actively engaging with this thing.

For example, if you chosen a relationship you want to build, do you find that you are passive when you are invited to parties or social gatherings that might help you make this happen?

Do you avoid talking to people you think might be useful for you? This is a sign that you are not taking responsibility for your own experience and that you are letting life happen to you.

What if you are already actively engaging with the things you want in life> What if you already have all the things you want? Great Now it’s time to take the next step.


woman standing on concrete steps becoming the main character of her own life. small steps at a time
Photo by Palu Malerba on

Now that you know what is important for you and that there is something you want to actively do right now. It is time to make a small but concrete decision. Something practical. Something that you can actually do. The smaller the better. It can be anything that takes you a step closer to what you want, but it has to be something you can actually do.

Like the example said earlier if you want to build a relationship with someone and you have chosen that as what is important for you right now, you could decide to send them a short text message or a friendly email. You could invite them to do something with you, or you could simply be friendly to them.

If you have chosen that you need to change something about your life, you could decide what your next step is. The smaller the better. You want to be able to actually make this happen. Now it gets interesting.


Now that you know what is important for you and you have made a small but concrete decision. it is time to take a look at the people in your story right now.

Is there anyone you want to inform about your decision to take this step? And if you want to keep it to yourself that’s fine too! Don’t get confused this is not about who your parents were or who your friends were when you were growing up. It is about who the people in your life are now.


Now that you know exactly what is important for you. There is something you may want to actively do right now. Know who the main characters are in your story right now. It is time to take action! Look at what’s important to you and let’s make calculated steps to make it happen. Start small no need to overwhelm yourself. This is not a race nor a competition. Take your time.

Is there something you can do right now to bring you a step closer to what is important for you? You are the main character in your own life. It is up to you to make your life interesting. You have the choice to give life meaning and significance. It is up to you to make it what you want it to be.


Becoming the main character in your own life is not easy. If it was,everyone would do it. It going takes time, effort and courage. It takes patience, persistence and perseverance. There is going to be a lot of honesty, authenticity and integrity. It takes determination and decisiveness.

Also a lot of it being present, focus and mindfulness. You’re going to need compassion for yourself as well as others. It takes courage and strength to look your fears in the face and overcome them. Allow yourself to be seen and known for who you truly are. And above all it takes practice. This is going to takes daily practice to become the main character in your own life.

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  1. Carl D’Agostino

    Sound sensible advice and planning. Far too many of people today are fairly demoralized with the feelings that they are insignificant and nothing to the powers that run the world. It’s hopeless and for that reason many people don’t even vote anymore. But the world still needs posts like this so we can redesign ourselves and have courage and willingness to challenge the status quo.

    1. Freckles And Lemonade Blog

      Thank You! Carl. I completely agree with you. We can all make a difference we just have to believe we can and put forth the action. I think a lot fall short on the action but expect the changes and that is quite a misfortune!

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